About Us
Once upon a time… It was the year 2004. Gerhard Schröder finally gave up, and The Lord of the Rings won 11 Academy Awards. Oomph! dominated the mainstream charts, and a mountain of sugar invented a face book.
Young Dr. Headshot had just finished her studies and was working on an experiment to filter out unnecessary calories. The upcoming Saturday, she had a date, which prompted her to touch up her colorful rainbow hair. The hair dyes of that time weren’t of the best quality. They simply didn’t last long, and especially red dye lacked a truly vibrant shade.
But you have to work with what you've got. If only the hair didn’t become so dull because of it! Why couldn’t someone invent a gentle hair tint?
The ingredients were also more than questionable—especially for a doctor, it was downright concerning. But as Bravo said: if you want beautiful, colorful hair, you have to suffer. “For heaven’s sake, Headshot, just focus on your work already. These calories won’t filter themselves.”
“Ugh, fine! … One calorie, two calories, three calories, four calories… oh, what’s that? Ouchhhh, is that a banana peel? Ohhh, I’m getting dizzy.” Darkness, mist, sparkle shimmer sparkle “Seriously, Penguin? A banana? How 1980 is that?! You could’ve just knocked her out.”
“Oh, just knock her out, huh? You gotta be kidding me! The ‘king of the animals,’ Mr. I-don’t-get-my-paws-dirty Lion thinks he knows better again! Alright then, you do it next time.”
“Moin Moin,” screeched the seagull in between. “It’s foolish to argue now. Focus on your task. The rest of us animals aren’t here for fun.”
“Oh look, the lady’s waking up!” remarked the Penguin. And indeed, Dr. Headshot slowly regained consciousness. “What happened? Where am I?” she asked, confused, holding her head where the banana had hit her.
“Greetings, human-thing! We are the Animal Tribunal, and we have a mission of the utmost importance.”
“Ugh, Lion, shut it already! Lemme explain this: Me and my pals—the animals—think these animal tests for red hair dye, colorful tints, and all that junk are absolute garbage. We don’t do experiments on humans, do we?! So, we’re giving you the ultimate vegan hair dye recipe for vibrant colors, and you, human-thing, will bring it to your kind! And if you have any decency, make sure it’s produced in the EU!”
“Uh… is this really happening?”
“Moin Moin, screech screech! Don’t ask dumb questions, foolish girl. Just listen and do what you’re told!”
“Listen closely. Here’s the vegan recipe, and all the colors are incredibly intense and long-lasting: So, you take piiiiiep, then carefully add piiiiiiiiep... piiiiiiep piiiiiiiep.”
“Alright, mission clear, yeah? Off you go, back to your world.”
Dr. Headshot woke up in her practice, rubbing her head. She must have fainted. But wow, she had an absolutely wild dream while unconscious.
Oh yes, she remembered everything—and immediately started preparing the first red hair tint. And lo and behold: it worked!!! But what should she call her creation? Lion Hair Dye? Colorful Hair Dye?
“Oh, whatever. I’ll just call it Headshot Hair Dye!”
And so, in 2004, the beautiful, colorful Headshot Hair Dyes saw the light of day. sniff
THE END
